Twisted Sickness
by chances of rain
Summary: Draco is beaten by his father. School is his only sanctuary. He is depressed and suicidal but then he finds Ron, who understands the depression. They find a connection and a love for eachother. But Draco is afraid of his father. RR. 7 CHAPTERS UP!
1. chapter 1

This is MY version of the a year at hogwarts. Im not sure what one... lets say its the 4th without the triwizard tournament. Thank you all!!!

Draco's POV

Draco looked into the mirror and thought about smashing it. He was so full of anger that he wanted to not only smash the miror but everything in his house. He had had enough of the things his father was doing. It wasn't right and he knew it. Draco had had enough of trying to hide the bruises under his robes. He had had enough of the nights of trying to keep his mind off the depression that wouldn't leave him.Angry tears spilled onto his cheeks as he thought about it. Draco whiped them away as quick as he could and went over to his bed. School was starting tomorow and he had to pull himself together before then.' _Forget the things he has done. He can't get you at school.' _Draco thought to himself. '_He can't get you there...' _

Harry and Ron's POV

"Harry!" Ron Weasley cryed out to the skinny black haired boy in front of him. Harry Potter Turned around to see his red haired friend standing in the middle of the train station with his hands full of books.

"Hey Ron! Want a little help there?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." Harry ran over and took a few of the books from Ron.

"How was your summer?"

"Uh, fine I guess."

"Yeah, same here."

They walked past a few other people they knew before they found their way to the wall between platforms 9 and 10. They quickly past through the wall to the busy platform where the Hogworts express sat waiting to leave and found their way to Mr and Mrs Weasley who were helping Fred, George and Ginny onto the train. Hermione happened to be right behind them.

"Oh, hello Harry! How are you?" Mrs Weasley hugged Harry tightly to the point where he could hardly breath enough to answer.

"I'm fine."

"Thats good. You have all your things?"

"Yes, thankyou."

"Good."

After a few more hugs and such, they finnaly got on the train. Harry, Ron and Hermione tried to find a compartment that was empty and when they finnaly did it was time to tell the events of their summers.

Draco's POV

Draco finnaly made it onto the train away from his father who happened to come along with him to see Draco off. Draco didn't like that much. He hadn't seen Crabbe or Goyle yet so he tried to find the compartment they were in. After seaching for a while, and not being able to find them he just tried to find a compartment that wasn't packed full of people. Just his luck, the only one he could find happened to be the one that Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were in. Draco thought about it for a minute and then disided it would be much better then sitting in the hall. He went in.

Harry Ron and Hermione's POV

Just as the three friends were getting comfortable and talking about their summers the door to the compartment oppened and none other than Draco Malfoy stood there with his usual cocky grin on his face.

"Hello hello!" Draco said as he stood there.

"What do you want _Malfoy_?" Harry spat out, mildly irritated.

"Well everywhere else is full so I should think you might let me sitt in here. Not that I really want to but there isn't much choice." And with that he sat himself down on the seat next to Ron and smirked at everyone around him. He was finding it kind of amusing to have made such trouble.

"What happened to your loyal minions Malfoy?" Ron asked _very _irritated.

"Why would it matter to you?"

"Well then we wouldn't have to tolerate you."

"Tolerate? Hm, so harsh."

Ron had to restrain himself from smacking Draco. It was mostly just because of the smirk that he wouldn't stop.

Draco's POV

Draco kept the smirk that he knew made them all mad on his face. It was fun to irritate them. It kept his mind off the anger inside. Harry was a push over for that kind of thing, maybe they would start a fight. What an even better way to get rid of anger.

Draco stole a glance at Ron and felt something weird inside that he didn't quite understand. Something about the red headed boy confused him...

!!!Well thats the first chapter! hope you liked it... Its longer then most of my other fanfic chapters... YAY!!!


	2. chapter 2

Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in silence on the train. Their minds wondered to things like, had they packed enough socks? So sad. Every so often one of them would look around of go use the washroom or try to sleep. The uncomfortable silence wen't on for the better part of the trip. The rest of the trip was full of cnversation that went something like this:

"Stop moving your foot!"

"Stop being an ass!"

"I hate you."

"I hate you more."

"I hate you more than more."

"I hate you more than more than more."

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

"You started the whole thing!"

And then someone would break up the fight. The fight was always with Draco. And it would always stop with them about to start getting physicaly violent.

Draco was having a great time getting harry Ron and Hermione mad. They weren't good at ignoring him. He was finaly having a chance to get some anger out.

Ron was getting irritated even more by the second. But when he looked at Draco, he couldn't help but feel weird inside. Like there was something about Malfoy that was like him. Looking at him made Ron remember the feelings that he had had at home. When he was forgot about one night when the family was all together and they were planning something. That wasn't the only time either. Ron had felt abandoned. Then every time Ron was upset about something his brothers and even Ginny would make a face at him and tell him too grow up. His father was too into his work and his mother was to into cleaning the house. Even Harry and Hermione had fogort about him on a few ocasions.

The thoughts of being forgotten were so discomforting to Ron. They made him feel rather worthless. Like they were all forgeting him because he wasn't worth remembering. He looked out the window and wished the feelings, and Draco would go away. The feeling that Draco was giving him sort of scaring him. It was like he connected with him...

Finally the train came to a stop and everyone was free to make their way off. Everyone in the compartment stood up and Draco smirked again.

"Nice riding with you freaks. how we never have to do it again." Draco said as left the compartment. The smirk was glued to his face again.

"Do you think he will ever stop being a bastard?" Harry said as he picked up his stuff.

"Nope."

Ron couldn't stop thing about that feeling he got. Feeling for Draco? Thats not right. Yuck. The feeling still stayed in his body. He was getting a few butterflies in his stomach just thinking about Draco. Why?! What is the world coming to!

Draco Found Crabbe and Goyle and the found a carrage together. Draco wasn't in any mood to have two idiots like them following him around like he was god but if he didn't, people would think somthing was wrong. Little did they know there was a lot wrong. Draco hadn't finished getting out all his anger on Potty and the Weasle; Not that he had expected to. No, this anger was to great to get out in one shot. This anger loomed inside Draco all the time. He couldn't escape from in no matter where he went. It was what kept him together some days. It was the only reason he didn't fall apart or kill someone, namely himself. Draco wanted revenge before he could do that. But Draco was afraid of what was under that anger. If he got rid of the anger, it would mean he would have to feel something else. And that something ese might be a pain greater that anything that he had felt before...


	3. chapter 3

"Oh joy, Its classes again. What do we have first?" Harry said after breakfast the next day.

"We have Potions. More joy." Replied Ron and made a sick and rather disgusting looking face which included his eyes rolled back in his head and his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth with drool coming out and said "Do you think if I do this and go to the hospital wing, I could get away with being sick for this class?"

Harry laughed and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Nope, sorry mate, your stuck with Snape's class and Malfoy's insults."

"Oh well."

All three of them made their way down to the potions classroom and sat in their normal places. Draco just happened to be sitting in from on Ron and Harry.

Draco had no time to say anything evil though because Snape made his entrance and started the class off very quickly. They were supposed to make a sleeping potion and is should turn out to be blue. Thats about the only thing Ron got out of Snape's instructions.

"You know what to do right Harry?" Ron said looking a bit scared of what was going to happen. He was very much out of practice and by the looks of it, this potion was going to turn out a big mess.

And thats exactly what happened.

After adding all the ingredients and carrying out the instructions to the letter, or so Ron and Harry thought, the potion seemed a little... pink. Actually, a lot pink. Fluorescent pink.

Ron leaned over the potion and said to Harry, "Uh, I dont think its supossed to be that colour. Or bubble like that... um, Harry?"

The pink goop look ready to explode by the way it was shaking, blubbling and rising the way it was. Then, Draco choose exactly that second to turn around most likely wanting to insulte Ron and Harry. The goop exploded right in his face giving him a Fluorescent pink beard. Ron jumped up, Harry started laughing and Draco looked angry.

"Oh! Sorry! Here, let me help!" Ron said taking a towel that was ment for messes like this and started to try and wipe the pink stuff off of Draco's face. Draco realised what was happening and tried to move so Ron couln't touch him but since Ron had himself in such a weird position, he fell, right into Draco's lap.

"What the bloody hell are you trying to do! Im not a baby, you don't need to help me! Get the hell off me!" Draco yelled pushing Ron onto the floor and grabbing the towel to wipe his own face with.

Ron Realised what just happened and stood up with his face going extremly red. Why did he just do that?

Snape Stood up from his desk and yelled at ron to clean up the mess and took off 10 points from Gryffindor house.

Ron's POV

_What the hell was that? I practicly jumpped on Malfoy! _Ron thought to himself. The strange feeling for Draco had come up again. This time it was worse. He couldn't even look at Draco without getting butterfies in his stomach and a weird feeling in his head. This was not good in Ron's mind. He realised finaly that these feelings were exactly what was supposed to happen when he liked a girl. not good, not good at all.

Draco's POV

Draco hardly knew what had hit him first when the pink good exploded and then when Ron all of the sudden looked sorry and then got all... motherly, trying to help. It made Draco feel weird. He was only glad to have stopped it before anyone noticed that he didn't mind having Ron help him like that. Was Draco Malfoy losing his hate towards the Weasle? No, thats not logical, it must just be something else weird. Maybe it was because noone had ever done that for him before and he didn't know what to do. But no matter how much Draco tried to push out thoughts of likeing Ron and not hating him, they kept coming back. It was mostly when he looked at him. Draco didn't even notice when he turned around again and ended up face to face with Ron. Then butterflies rose in his stomach and he had a light warm feeling. _'Oh crap.' _thought Draco _'This isn't good...' _Then he realised he was still face to face with a confused looking Ron and he began to get angry.

"I can't believe you did that! How bloody hard is it for you to NOT have things exploding every time we are in this class!" Draco said in a rather hushed voice trying not to let Snape hear.

"Its not my fault that you just HAPPENED to turn around then! If you had kept your idiot self were it was supposed to be, IT WOULDN"T HAVE HAPPENED!" Ron burst out, surprising Draco who had no choice but to turn back to his potion, feeling rather guilty and angry about felling guilty.

Draco was so angry that he was sure he would explode into a million little peices and he went to ask Professor Snape to be excused to use the washroom.


	4. chapter 4

Draco's POV

As soon as Draco was out of the potions classroom his emotions started raging and he started to get angry. He blamed his Mother and Father on the fact that he had no idea what to do when Ron tried to help him clean his face because they never did that for him. And draco was FEELING something for Ron. Not just the usual hate but something different.

_'Am I going soft?!' _Draco thought on his way to the slytherin common room. He figured that there wasn't much point in going back to class because it was almost over anyways and he had a spare block after. Draco then figured that he would walk around and find someone to bully instead so he could get some anger out.

After wondering the corridors for a while he got bored and sat down against a wall in a deserted corridor. Draco rolled up his sleave to reveal a purple bruise on his wrist and a few cut marks. He remembered how they both got there very vividly.

It was a few weeks before school and Draco's Father was very mad about Draco buying the wrong book for school accidently. Draco got very mad about his Father yelling at him for something so stupid and he yelled back at his Father calling him a "big git". Mr Malfoy raged and grabbed Draco by the wrist causing the bruise and yelled in Draco's face how worthless he thought he was. He then slapped draco in the face and dropped him to the ground. Kicking Draco, he yelled some more about Draco being worthless and a stupid little bastard.

As soon as the beating was over Draco went up to his room and trashed it by kicking things over, throwing things around and smashing things. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears from the anger that was rising in him. He picked up a small glass dragon and smashed it on the floor. Then he picked up a sharp peice of the glass off the floor and started to cut away at the white flesh of his wrist.

The feelings of that night came rushing back to Draco. He had felt so worthless. It was as if there was no point in living any more. there was no point in trying to make his Father happy anymore. He would only beat Draco more anyways. There was a feeling of great pain, anger and depression that washed over Draco. Tears from his anger rolled down his cheeks and for once, he didn't care. Draco's Father would never stop beating him. The pain would never go away. He felt like noone would ever accept him for who he was. No one would ever care that he was hurting under the anger. The feeling of being lost and out of control would never go away. Draco had had enough.

Draco hated his father for making him feel so worthless and dumb. He hated himself for believing that he was worthless and dumb. He hated his mother for not doing anything in the times that she had seen Mr Malfoy beat on Draco. But most of all, he hated Ron for making him feel these painful feelings again. He got the feeling of anger rising in him again and the tears started to pour out more.

But as Draco thought about Ron he couldn't help but remember the faint feeling of comfort when he had tryed to help Draco. And the sort of warm feeling he got when ron had looked at him the way he did. Draco even felt a little sorry for pushing Ron off him life that.

"But this is Ron Weasley for BLOODY SAKE! The stipid git that hates you! And you hate him!!! Why the hell would you get comfort out of someone like that?!" Draco said out loud to himself. He regreted it right away as well. There was someone coming.

"Who's there?" Said a voice. And that voice sounded just like Ron Weasley.

_'Oh great.'_


	5. chapter 5

Ron's POV

Ron had come out of the potions class to find he had a spare study block. Harry and Hermione had classes together so Ron figured he would just wonder around instead of study for anything. He started to make his way around the corridors that he didn't think anyone would be in. He had to get his head straight. Too many weird thoughts about Draco and the feeling that Ron knew was supposed to be only for girls.

Ron hated that everytime he thought about Draco, he felt as if the only thing he needed was Draco. If he was with Draco he would need no one else. There would be no room in Ron for the feeling of lonleyness or like no one apreceated him. There would be no need to feel like he wasn't worth anyone's time.

Just as Ron turned a corner he heard a voice. And that voice sounded a little to much like Draco.

"Who's there?" Ron called out in front of him.

There was a small grumble and Ron noticed that Draco was sitting against the wall with a red tear stained face and his sleave rolled up to show a bruise and cut marks. Ron didn't know what to say or do. How did Draco get that bruise? And why were there cut marks? Was Draco suicidal?

"What are you doing here?" Draco spat out at Ron covering up his arm and wiping his face of tears.

"I was just walking."

Normal POV

Draco wasn't happy about Ron seeing him like this. Or seeing him at all. Ron wasn't any happier about seeing the boy that he was trying to get away from. For a minute they just stared at eachother not knowing what to do or what to say. They lost all awarness of the world around them. All of the sudden they weren't so unhappy about seeing one another.

Draco's POV

_'Why did he have to show up?' _Draco thought. The butterfies in his stomach made him wish he was anywhere but there with anyone else. Away from the red headed boy that was now standing right in front of him staring at him. The warm feeling washed over Draco again and he had the sudden urge to take Ron in his arms and never let him go. Draco stood up so that in anything, he could run away. Ron was still staring at him. Draco's breath quickend.

Ron's POV

The thoughts that were running through Ron's head were mostly wishes that he had never gone for this walk. When Draco stood up Ron could feel the blood rushing to his face. Draoc hadden't taken his eyes off Ron. The expretion on Draco's face wasn't the usual cockyness either. It was more a saddness.

Normal POV

The two boys just stood there staring at eachother not really knowing what to do or what to say. Draco's face was still tear stained and Ron's face was still surprised. Both of them were afraid to do anything in case their faces mirrored their thoughts.

Ron was the fist to move. And it happened to be closer to Draco. Draco didn't mind.

"Why did you come here?" Ron asked.

"I needed time alone." Draco replied. He couldn't believe he was talking to the Weasle. Like a civil person.

"Oh"

"Yeah... so... go away." Draco hoped that Ron would listen. His brain wasn't functioning right and he didn't want to do something that he knew he would regret later on.

"No." was Ron's reply. He knew that he had a right to be there even if he wasn't sure what it was at the moment.

What happened next was a huge shock to both boys.

Draco And Ron both took a step forward bringing them only inches apart. Both could feel the breath of the other on their lips. A wave of mixed emotions washed other them.

Draco's depression was mixed with the need to be held by someone and the feelings he was having for Ron.

Ron's feelings of lonlyness were mixed with the need to be with Draco.

Draco couldn't help himself anymore. He closed the space between them puting his lips against Rons. Ron responded by wraping his arms around the other boy's slim waist. For whatever amount of time, Draco and Ron lost themselves in the kiss.

They put every emotion the could find into it getting tangled in eachothers arms. It seemed like an eternity before they realized what was happening.

"Oh god."

Ron had pulled away finaly realising what he was doing. At the same time, Draco realised that has had just been kissing the Weasle that he was so sure hated him... Draco turned and ran away leaving Ron to think about what happened.


	6. chapter 6

--Hello!!! I would just like to say thank you for reading this! I finally got a word program that has spell check.

I would like to say thanks to Saiyo (you change your name to much) for random funny ideas. Your like my Muse! --- 

Draco ran away until he could run no more. Ron... Draco had kissed Ron. And even worse, HE LIKED IT! _'shit, thats not right. Not right not right. I'm not gay!' _ Draco thought. The memory kept playing in his head over and over and over. He could still feel Ron's lips against his. He could feel his arms wrapped around him. _'I'm not gay! I CAN'T BE GAY! My father would KILL me. Not only because I'm gay but because I made out with a Weasley. Oh man... What am I going to do?' _

When Draco made his way to the Slytherin common room, he felt like people were staring at him. Like they knew just by the way he walked that he had kissed a Weasley. Draco couldn't help but run all the way to his bed hoping that no one really noticed that he was looking scared.

Draco's thoughts 

I don't belive this. I can't believe this. I know its not just going to go away but i can't help but wish it would. My father will find out about it some how or another and I don't want to receive another beating.

I can't be gay, I can't be gay. Not with Weasel anyways. Wait, thats admitting it. Crap.

Am I? I wondered a few years ago about being bisexual but I didn't think so then and I don't think so now.

But... The way Ron looked...

GAH!

Ron 

Ron was left standing there with no explanation or anything. He was feeling a little dreamy because of the fact that he had just had his first kiss and that he felt like he really liked Draco.

_' Snap out of it! Draco is a bloody GIT and you should be disgusted! not... happy. Not like you want to do it again. Yuck.'_

Ron's foot steps filled the corridor and made him feel better with the noise. He was feeling depressed now. He liked Draco. His worst enemy. The boy that had tortured him for years. Made fun of his family. And now he was getting over the feeling of having his lips against Draco's.

But there was hope. Why would Draco have kissed him if there wasn't some sort of change? maybe Draco wasn't as bad as Ron had thought. But... Ron didn't want to keep his hopes up. It had only been two days since he had got to school.

"Ron!" Harry's voice called out.

"Oh hey Harry."

"You are going to miss lunch if you don't hurry up and get to the great hall." Harry took Ron by the wrist and dragged him around the corner.

"Are you okay?" Harry said stopping and seeing Ron's far off look. This wasn't like Ron.

"Hmm? oh, yeah I'm fine. Hungry!" Ron replied hoping that would subdue Harry's concern

"Right. Well. I ran into Malfoy a while ago. He seemed even more evil than usual. I think that we should make his day even worse. What do you say?" Harry said. They had walked into the great hall by then and Ron looked around hoping that Draco wasn't there. But he was.

"Uhhh." Was all that Ron could get out. He had just seen Draco smile. At him? No. He is scowling now. Ron scowled back

"Whats WRONG with you?!"

Draco 

Draco had gotten hungry from all the thinking he was doing. He had made his way down to the Great Hall half hoping that Ron wouldn't be there and half hoping he would be. He wanted to see if he really did like Ron but he was afraid that he would only find that he did.

Ron and Harry had walked into the Great Hall surprising Draco a little to much. His stomach tied in knots when he saw Ron look at him and he smiled. Then realizing what he was doing, he put on the nastiest scowl he could get. Ron scowled back.

Nothing ever changes.


	7. chapter 7

I'm so sorry for taking so long!!! My computer crashed so I couldn't write till now!!! But I hope you like this chapter... 

No, nothing ever changes here does it? Ron And Draco glared back at each other every time either of them looked up. Harry and Hermione couldn't get Ron to talk so they finally gave up and talked to each other leaving Ron to scowl at Draco by himself.

It wasn't until Care of Magical Creatures class that things seemed any different.

"Oh would you look at this. Its the couple again. Potter and Weasly." Harry and Ron heard as they were making their way to the Hagrid's hut. They turned around, shocked that Draco would start saying they were a couple. This was uncalled for.

"Oh stuff a sock in it Malfoy. It seems like you have a threesome going on with Crabbe and Goyle any ways. I wouldn't be talking if I were you." Shot Harry. Ron didn't like the look Draco gave him then. It seemed a little hurt yet angry all the same.

"We are NOT a couple." Was all Ron could say. Draco seemed to have forgotten the insult that had come from Harry and turned most of his attention to Ron.

"Well, you could have fooled me. With the time you two spend together. I expect to be invited to the wedding!" Draco Laughed and turned away.

"What was THAT for?!" Harry whispered to Ron.

"I have no clue."

Draco's POV

It DOES seem like they are a couple the way they stick together like that. Besides, if I say they are they will get self conscious of the time they spend talking in hushed voices and standing up for each other. Divide and conquer. Conquer Ron.

NOT AGAIN

Normal POV

There was nothing more Ron wanted than to run in the opposite direction and scream when Hagrid anounced what they were doing for the class. Actually, he didn't hear that part, he just knew that he had to pair up with a Slytherin. then everyone slowly grumbled and paired up... except Ron Harry and Draco. So of course Hagrid came along and asked who didn't have a partner...

"Er... Harry, you can come with me. Malfoy, uh, you can be with Ron." Hagrid said with a worried look on his face. The only reason he had to pair up Slytherins and Gryffindors was because Dumbledor asked his to try and make some kind of peace between the two houses.

Ron took extremely small steps toward Draco hoping that he would wake up in his bed not in this nightmare.

"Great. I'm stuck with Gay Boy now." Draco said and rolled his eyes.

"Gay?! Screw off Malfoy! I'm not bloody gay." Ron was getting irritated but he couldn't help the small feeling that was growing inside of him. Ron was already questioning if he was gay or not. After what happened with Draco...

"Right. And I'm the Minister of Magic."

"Shut up! I don't even want to hear your voice!" Ron yelled at Daco. He was being truth full in saying that. He wanted to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach but every time he heard Draco's voice they got worse.

"Oh, and your going to do something about it?" Draco Shot back. He was getting irritated with the feeling HE was getting and it was habit from his father to say something back when someone insulted him or was trying to make a fight. He almost wanted Ron to do something about it any ways because he was so cute when he was mad.

"Yup!" Ron yelled and punched Draco right on the side of his face. For a moment, both of them were in shock of what Ron had done.

The shock didn't last very long. Draco flung himself onto Ron trying to hurt him as much yet as little as possible. Ron was more trying to get Draco off him. A circle was forming around them now.

Ron had just kicked Draco in the shin and Draco had just punched Ron in the gut when Hagrid realized exactly what was going on. He made his way through the crowed of students and pulled Ron and Draco off each other.

"What do ya think yer doing?!" Harid said still holding the boys off each other. Draco's usual slick blond hair was now a mess and his face was red with fury. Rons face matched Draco's along with his hair. They were grumbling whatever insults they could think of while Hagrid though of what to do.

"You both have a detention now." Was all Hagrid could get out because they were still trying to fight each other.


End file.
